friends

I’ve sat on the floor, against my door, tears in my eyes, my father dead on the other side

My phone rings, that needy friend needing things

Two words ended the conversation, I can’t, followed by a bitch and cessation

She didn’t ask why, she didn’t hear me cry, no need to say bye

Twenty one years later and nothing has changed, new names but the same games

grayscale photo of woman covering her face by her hand

Photo by Alexander Krivitskiy on Pexels.com

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6 thoughts on “friends

  1. This was triggered by a writing prompt I came across last night but it is relevant to my position in life right now.
    I suspect my expectations may be too high. I have the classic 80’s friendship movies seasoning my ideals of what friendships are meant to be and I have yet, in my 39 years, found a reciprocal relationship. I genuinely love the people I share my life with but I am all too aware that most of our interactions are one sided.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Sigh. I have so many thoughts on this and often feel stifled on expressing it. I don’t know if ita expectations being too high per se. But as we get older, we realize how precious our time is. Not in a morbid way but…that time, energy and heart are indeed limited resources. Not to be expended endlessly. So the value we put on people is that much more precious. As a young person, proximity is the number one indicator of ‘friendship’. Thats it. That is why we all have so many ‘friends’ growing up that consequently treated us like complete crap. My daughter once said “why were they your friends”…well, it was who was available to me. As free will and self respect take over we realize our boundaries and other manners in which to make friends and share our value with someone. I know none of this is super helpful, lol! Just some thoughts!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re wrong, it is very helpful. It feels spot on. I fully agree with the statement about the “friends” of my past simply being all that was available to me. I’m keeping my eyes and my heart open, still looking for that reciprocal friendship.

        Liked by 1 person

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